As a result of working the Twelve Steps: ~~The Twelve Promises~~     We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity. We will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. The feelings of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.   "Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us -- sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them." - From the A. A. Big Book. ~~The Twelve Rewards~~ Hope instead of desperation. Faith instead of despair. Courage instead of fear. Peace of mind instead of confusion. Self-respect instead of self-contempt. Self-confidence instead of helplessness. The respect of others instead of their pity and contempt. A clean conscience instead of a sense of guilt. Real friendships instead of loneliness. A clean pattern of life instead of a purposeless existence. The love and understanding of our families instead of their doubts and fears. The freedom of a happy life instead of the bondage of an alcoholic obsession.

Working the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous So You Can Begin to Start Living the Steps. This is not an official AA document. We made a decision to focus on AA's Basic Text titled "Alcoholics Anonymous". Also known as the Big Book, it's "clear-cut directions" led us to our first actual recovery from substantial "underlying causes" of drinking and other addictions. With a spiritual, mental and mental foundation somewhat in place, AA and other literature plus working with others taught more about effective living sober. The 1939 first edition AA Big Book was broadened and deepened in 1953 by the AA book "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions." The 12&12 did not repeat but commented upon the steps as first outlined in the Big Book. We suggest studying about each step, on at a time, from both books side by side. Our details of AA directions have evolved with input from both books, other AA literature and "other helpful books used by AA's co-founders." to Steps: 1 & 2 <> 3 &4 <> 5 & 6 ,<> 7 & 8,<> 9 ,<> 10 & 11<>12 . A One Page Printable Worksheet for each step 4 resentment. Step 1 "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol --- that our lives had become unmanageable". The preceding "short form" of step one appears simple. Gut level permanence of sobriety, however, "develops slowly over a period of time" as the 12 steps treat underlying causes and guide our lives. Five Step One suggestions were passed down by my sponsor. Each day: ---- make a statement that I will not drink for one day; ---- go to at least one AA meeting; ---- talk to another alcoholic of sponsor level sobriety; ---- read AA literature. I read the Big Book Step 11 page 86   about "On retiring & Upon Awakening" each day, for several years. ---- make a statement of thanks before retiring at night. to Steps: 1 & 2 <>3 &4 <> 5 & 6 ,<> 7 & 8,<> 9 ,<> 10 & 11<>12 . Step 2 "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity". Only in the past several years did I spot the action sentences from the 12&12 about step 2. "We quit the debating society" about what God and Sanity are. "The fact is that we had not cleaned house so the Grace of God could enter." 12&12 step 2 The word sponsor is used about 12 times in 12&12 step 2 . The Big Book, titled Alcoholics Anonymous, tells this helper to "walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress" with the new person. Instead of discussing God and insanity in discussion meetings, sane action suggests brief remarks about our use of action tools. "Keep it brief." Two minutes max in discussion meetings is a skill builder for sane effective recovery. Fifteen minutes max in a speaker meeting was suggested by AA's co-founder Bill Wilson. The Big Book suggests a structured three part story: "What it was like, What happened, and What it is like now." Some experienced speakers even use cue cards. to Steps: 1 & 2 <>3 &4 <> 5 & 6 ,<> 7 & 8,<> 9 ,<> 10 & 11<>12 . Step 3 "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." I do not dwell upon God with the baffled newcomer. Even Atheists can transform their lives with the tangible actions of the 12 steps. From the 12&12 Step 3 "We made a beginning by coming to AA." At first this higher power is likely to be our closest AA friend, our sponsor, who points out that coming to meetings is a good beginning but a far cry from a contented useful life.  That is just where the remaining steps come in." An atheist or non-alcoholic can use this educational process to improve their life. From the Big Book Step 4 p64 "Though our decision was vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions." to Steps: 1 & 2 <>3 &4 <> 5 & 6 ,<> 7 & 8,<> 9 ,<> 10 & 11<>12 . Step 4 < five parts (though not directly in the five sections of the notebook)> A One Page Worksheet for each Step 4 Resentment. "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." "Writing will be the first tangible evidence of a complete willingness to move forward (12&12 step4)." A 5 subject, spiral bound, full size, college ruled binder is most popular in our area for the 4th step writing. First we lay out the following: <Part One > "Our Life's Names" is our title of a master index. "We must redouble our efforts.........", (12&12 step 8) inspired this initial list. Over six years of it's use has been observed to reduce confusion and aid secure thoroughness.  2/20/01 3 columns, front and back, of the first 10 pages of our notebook are for index of our life. We list names of persons, institutions or principles as they enter our mind. A few dozen random names at first, not necessarily resentments, helped un-clutter minds and provide emotional balance for a hundred or more friends during six years of use. It lays a secure stepping stone into the next phase- resentments (grudges).    OUR Life's NAMES    dad  Father Frank (priest)  page 1   Sally (wife)         R#1     A        Joan (ex wife) Add to Our Life's Names whenever a name pops ............into mind........       Eric (boss)      DUI (DWI) laws      Marriage        Divorce   R #1 ,2,3..-- add these notations for names that qualify for  the next part - the grudge list  and later at step 8, add A for amend due.    Judge Matthews    Mr. Smith (teacher)    Grandma      Aunt Francis      Officer Bill     <Part Two> "List of Resentments" a.k.a "Grudge List." from BBp65   A one page worksheet for each Step 4 resentment.         From Big Book page 65 on the back of sheet 10 in our notebook, we write headings on the top. Also use section 2 for this. It is not unusual to need another notebook for the resentments -- turnaround process. (2 facing page method) Example of listing a resentment (grudge). 14 years after the 1939 AA Big Book was published, it's authors helped write the "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions."   The "12&12" forward describes it as broadening and deepening of the earlier work. Security was divided into Material security and Emotional security for six possible "Affects my:"  I'm resentful at:  The cause:  Affects my:  left    right   Martha She's a menace! Emotional security  page    page      She got restraining order Self Esteem               Material Security     Do        Ambitions     THIS        Personal relations     page        Sex relations     Later.      ....lots of doodle space.          That's okay !             The 4th step prayer.    Big Book page 66 : We frequently read the paragraph which begins with:        This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done. We avoid retaliation or argument.  < Part Three > "Turnarounds" - "Referring to our list again..." from BBp67 To the right of the "grudge" on the left facing page, we divide the right sheet into four sections, approx... 9 to 11 lines each. From the Big Book page 67, the headings are: Selfish; Dishonest; Self Seeking; Frightened?" We look at the "Affects my: " column on the left facing page.   Thorough analysis of each "Affects my:" has produced a gratifying track record of permanent sobriety and manageable living. The analysis described above can seldom be done alone at first. As 4th and 5th steppers learn how to research "sane ideals" and to spot "flaws which block us", gradually they become freed of addictions and undesired types of dependence. Next is an example of a "Turnaround", -- which is the analysis of each "Affects my" from the grudge list.     right page  Turnarounds    Selfish: aka the Thoughts: I wanted her to act the way I wanted her to act // I wanted her to    think I was the greatest// I wanted her to depend on me // I wanted her to work more //    I wanted her to be a willing partner// I wanted sex only when I wanted it//   These statements of selfishness describe our personal thoughts for each "Affects my:" from the left page. We don't put the action on the thought here. We describe the action under Self Seeking.    Dishonest: the ANALYSIS: Illegal to hit her // Was copping out by drinking //   Irrational to think I can not be happy if she leaves me // I did not have effective      communication skills. // Irrational to think that it was her fault // Not realistic to    think I can sleep around without arousing suspicion //..........    Consider all else written on this page as we list: Conflicts with the law and religious principles of choice. Indiscreet actions, Self delusion, Irrational thinking, Rationalization, Lack of skills -- particularly communication.    Self Seeking: our actions related to the resentment: I drank that night // I hit her //   I  slept with Suzy Q // Now I am sober // I'm putting into action my decision to work    the 12 steps // I don't cheat on my beloved bimbo // I take care of the kids first    after my sobriety // I treat my wife as if she is a sick Alanon-- (page 452, BB) //    What would a recovered person do today in a similar event?    Frightened: the Emotions: Fear she won't keep me // Fear I may need to find have another place to   live // Fear I will flip out // Fear I will drink // Fear I'll never a healthy relation // Fear I won't    get along with people ever // Fear I won't feel sexually full filled //    ACTION - Plug each Fear into the fear prayer below............. then watch, Miracles happen !  to Steps: 1 & 2 <>3 &4 <> 5 & 6 ,<> 7 & 8,<> 9 ,<> 10 & 11<>12 .   < Part Three > "FEARS"  from BBp67 <> write in notebook section 3 What specifically, were we afraid of ? As we write the Fears in the preceding section, we might make a statement such as the "Fear Prayer" BB p 68.       "We ask God to remove the fear that ........plug in the specific fears one at a time here............. and direct my attention to what you would have me be."   "At once we commence to outgrow fear ! "   In the 3rd section of our notebook, we set aside 2 pages to list the general natures of recurring fears from the previous sections. We add known fears which did not relate to resentments. After the 2 pages above in section 3, we answer BBp68 questions for each fear on one page each. Fear of people's opinions Why did we have them? e.g. People criticized me // I felt I was ugly //    When, where and how did the general nature of this recurring fear begin?  As a kid, I got bored and noisy // My father then beat me // .....    Wasn't it because self reliance failed us? Yes, I did not know how to be  responsible for my actions. // I did not let powers outside of my self help me         to Steps: 1 & 2 <>3 &4 <> 5 & 6 ,<> 7 & 8,<> 9 ,<> 10 & 11<>12 . < Part Four > "Now about sex." from BBp68 - write in Notebook section 4 Big Book page 68. In section 4 of our 5 section notebook , 1st page, we list in three columns the names or discreet references to persons on whom we expended physical and/or emotional energy of a craving nature. On one side of pages thereafter, we answer questions from the Big Book on page 69 and the 12&12 page 119. Suzy Q Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? I only saw her after  drinking with my friends // I told her I was working late // I did not call //...........    Whom had we hurt? I caused her and her parents much anguish //............    Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Yes, I would not  recognize my alcoholism //I was short tempered // ..............   We got this all down on paper and looked at it. Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? I should have called her // I   should have left her //...................    We subjected each relation to this test -was it selfish or not? Yep // I only used her for  a feel real good rush //..................  Was compatibility at spiritual, emotional and mental levels a fact and not wishful thinking? I am a mental  health client with meds, she is not - hmmmmm? // I am hyperactive, she is calm - hmmmmm? //  I have just begun Step 4, she has been through the steps at least once and helps others do the steps - hmm?   < Part Five > "ASSETS" from 12&12 p46 <> write in notebook section five. The items under assets and liabilities are suggestive. We standardized spiritual, emotional, mental and physical for Health and Relation Status.   It is amazing but logical that Quality of Life Tags along with Quality of Step work ! to Steps: 1 & 2 <>3 &4 <> 5 & 6 ,<> 7 & 8,<> 9 ,<> 10 & 11<>12 .   Step 5 Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Steps 4 and 5 proceed together to different degrees. Bill W's words in the 12&12 step 3 about "continuous action as a way of life" validates regular review by a step sponsor of the protégés recovery. Otherwise, "it is so easy to get off the track!" "Thorough" is, I believe, often misapplied in 4th step work. Brief comments about many life episodes with skimpy analysis of each, appears to be another obsession in itself. In my experience, thorough careful "Full page Turnaround" step 4 analysis of each resentment as described above produced a track record of permanent sobriety, useful contentment and manageable living. And, fewer episodes need detailing in order to comprehend the "exact nature" of our wrongs. From the Big Book end of Step 5,  "Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Taking this book down from our shelf we turn to the page which contains the twelve steps. Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last. Is our work solid so far? Are the stones properly in place? Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? Have we tried to make mortar without sand?"               to Steps: 1 & 2 <>3 &4 <> 5 & 6 ,<> 7 & 8,<> 9 ,<> 10 & 11<>12 . Step 6 Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. ACTION: : Since 1982, I still think of this step as a natural product of thorough 4th and 5th step work. The Big Book page 76 has one paragraph on Step 6. The 12&12 offers discussion on defects which may jog one's memory a bit more. Then, one can go back to 4 & 5 to fill more voids! Step 7 Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. ACTION: : Big Book page 76 has the 7th prayer in it's one paragraph about Step 7. The word "humbly" is often misunderstood according to the 12&12, step 5. "To those who have made progress in AA, it amounts to a clear and accurate picture of who and what we really are followed by sincere attempt to become what we could be." Note that the 7th step prayer states "asked him to remove every defect of character which stood in the way of usefulness...." This cleared up concern about thoughts which were non-spiritual. Can't help an occasional weird inspiration or feeling. But no matter how I feel, I try to do God's will. Realistically, it's the action that counts. to Steps: 1 & 2 <>3 &4 <> 5 & 6 ,<> 7 & 8,<> 9 ,<> 10 & 11<>12 . Step 8     Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. ACTION: : "Self Seeking in the 4th step records harm done to persons we resented. "Our Life's Names" in the front of our notebook has these plus names with no resentment connected. The 12&12 appears to have a correction to the Big Book. The 12&12 8th step states that we must redouble our efforts. It describes more subtle types of emotional and other harm. This cleared up one of my early questions. What about amends I knew were due people I did not resent? (updated 3/20/99) Step 9 Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. ACTION: : A qualified 9th step sponsor is important in order not to awkwardly injure others with amend attempts. The Big Book p76, starts a detailed discussion about amends. Most situations are discussed. It is suggested to read this regularly as amends work draws near. to Steps: 1 & 2 <>3 &4 <> 5 & 6 ,<> 7 & 8,<> 9 ,<> 10 & 11<>12 Step 10 Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. ACTION: : The Big Book p84. includes " We grow in effectiveness. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up -- --we ask God at once to remove them. --We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. --Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help." The 12&12 discusses spot check and other inventories. The 4th step Assets section has columns for updating inventory. This is a form of gratitude list. Page 86 in the Big Book starts with, : "When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken." Step 11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. ACTION: : Big Book page 86 was my entree' into actual AA step work.  Meeting speaker, Bill S, was describing the directions for starting each day. "On awakening... leads into specific directions. I read this regularly for several years to start my days. The 12&12 p99 includes St Francis prayer. Recovered thinking is described. "By self forgetting, one finds." 12&12 step 11 enlarges upon actual meditation. I use a meditation's dictionary meaning: contemplation ( an action term). I find settings where I can think about new and old learning in regards to recovered ideals. to Steps: 1 & 2 <>3 &4 <> 5 & 6 ,<> 7 & 8,<> 9 ,<> 10 & 11<>12 . Step 12 Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. The 12&12 forward states that it is a broadening and deepening of the steps as written in the Big Book. Therefore, the two together contain virtually all of the Conference Approved step work. ___The Big Book has excellent directions for trying to help another suffering alcoholic. The 12&12 speaks of the awakening and practicing the principles. ___From the Big Book, I show a new person during the first few minutes why I am trying to help, why we try to do this alone and why I encourage him to talk. "Then I will know how to proceed." ___"Outline the program of action." I show a new person how to process their first resentment through the written Big Book format. ___"We walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress with the new man." I point out that he talk with a sponsor level AA person each day. There is much detail in the Big Book chapter "Working with Others" about effective discussion with persons we try to help. to Steps: 1 & 2 <>3 &4 <> 5 & 6 ,<> 7 & 8,<> 9 ,<> 10 & 11<>12 .   return to top of this page. Working With Others - reprint of 12th step in book "Alcoholics Anonymous", Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Old, and The Big Book of A.A.

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